Mwahaha
by Panda-Hiroko
Summary: This is not done for any prompt or particular pairing week, this is just some crap to fiddle with when were bored. ENJOY OUR BOREDOM!
1. Outrageous Truths and Lies

PandaFlower: so after updating A Wolf in Black and Silver I got bored. So Hiroko and I are collaborating on these for-the-hell-of-it drabbles/oneshots.

HirokoHana: Kill. Me. Now.

PandaFlower: Seriously, you act like it's the end of the world!

HirokoHana: No I am not! If the world ended I would be having fun, since I am not the end has not come.

PandaFlower: Whatever. Consider this disclaimed.

Outrageous Truths and Lies.

Lenalee sighed, for not only is her brother bored, but Reever had been distracted long enough for her brother to do something about other than paperwork.

Because Lavi had helped.

The result was that Kanda had been knocked out, tied to a chair, and completely dosed with a potion her brother was now trying to explain.

"Don't worry, this is actually very harmless. I call the Outrageous Lie Potion; it causes one to spew out unbelievable falsehoods," Komui grinned victoriously, "We will get a very good laugh out of Mr. Icicle here spewing nonsense!"

"But what about Kanda's healing factor, that won't affect it, will it?" Lavi asked, poking Kanda's side.

"Hm, don't know, don't care," and Komui dismissed it just like that.

A rather pathetic groan signaled that 'Mr. Icicle' had woken up; he shook his head to try to clear the fog. He paused when his foggy brain registered the three tense individuals standing several feet away from him. Then he registered the odd tingling in the back of his throat, almost like something was trying to get out.

He opened his mouth to cough but all that came out was… "I love cats!" in the most obnoxious cheery tone, like the kind Kanda despised.

The three _fell apart_ laughing, even Lenalee admitted that – while cruel – it was still hilarious.

"Ohmygod! The Outrageous Lie Potion works!" Lavi clutched his side; that made Kanda frown mentally, even though outwardly he grinned like a total airhead.

'_But that was the truth why would they… they screwed up the potion! Well might as well give'em what they asked for, che._'

"Once I tried to create a Free Hug day but nobody took the flyer seriously," Kanda pouted when raucous laughter ensued.

And so it went.

"Despite what I tell Tiedoll, I do sketch on a regular basis."

Laughter.

"Once, I had an insatiable sweet tooth and gorged myself on lollipops!"

Laughter.

"I died Marie's topknot pink but he blamed it Daisya, I sulked for days about being underappreciated."

They choked, they laughed so hard.

"I think cheese is disgusting and should be eradicated from the face of the earth!"

Rolling on floor, laughing out loud.

"I fuck Allen Walker into my bed _every_ night and have done since two months ago."

Stunned silence.

"Um, Yu-chan…?" give thanks for Lavi the Bold… or curious.

Kanda nodded furiously, looking comically serious, "I do, I do! I just _love_ the little sounds he makes when I twist in him just right… sort of a cross between a whimper and a moan."

"K-Kanda really—" oh the intense blushing, how could this have backfired so inappropriately?

"And I can't stop fantasizing when I meditate. I've been thinking about trying out the ice kink. That'll be hilarious! I'll slide an ice-cube up his ass and no matter how much he glares and protests the Moyashi'll still moan and writhe."

Just then said Moyashi walked into the room, blinking stupidly at the blushing, embarrassed trio sprawled across the floor and a samurai tied to chair and looking drugged out of his mind.

Kanda twisted around to smile at him, "There you are Moyashi-pon~ I was just telling these idiots how much I love sucking yo-mnphf!" Faster than thought Allen clamped a hand around Kanda's mouth to prevent the spillage of too much unnecessary knowledge.

"What did you do to him?" Allen cried, tugging at the rope around Kanda's wrists.

"W-we g-gave him a p-potion that makes him spout nonsense a-and it was f-funny until it got sexual," Komui stuttered, the poor guy… he was probably still a virgin.

"I didn't think it would go that far," Lenalee looked suitably repentant.

And then Reever burst into the room, "KOMUI! WHERE DID THE _OUTRAGEOUS TRUTH POTION_ GO? WE GOTTA FIND IT BEFORE SOMEONE EMBARRASSES THEMSELVES AND… why are you giving me weird looks?"

PandaFlower: HAHAHA OMG THAT WAS _**FUN**_!

HirokoHana: can you imagine the looks on their faces when they realized everything was true?

PandaFlower: read and review!


	2. The Dora Diaries

**PandaFlower: once again, WE ARE BORED.**

**HirokoHana: you could say that again—NOT REALLY! Please, don't do this to me today.**

**PandaFlower: this is what Hiro-chan and I come up with in the middle night when we can't sleep. Right Hiro-chan?**

**HirokoHana: yep—wait, what? Did you just go there? You did not just go there!**

**PandaFlower: **_**HIIIIIIIRRRRRROOOOO-CHAAAAAANNNN!**_

**HirokoHana: tis disclaimed. PENGWOLF! SPORK ARMY! AWAY!**

**PandaFlower: LIKEWISE!**

The Dora Diaries

Dora stepped out of the doors of rehab and breathed in the fresh air of freedom. She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, ignoring her body's needs and climbed into the vehicle waiting for her.

"Hola, mommy," she greeted, her brown eyes flashing with fake joy that just barely hid the malicious intent underneath. Her mother shuddered and smiled at her through the rearview mirror. "Are we going home now?" Dora asked sweetly, her voice was covered in a façade of cuteness, but it was ALL LIES!

Her mother shifted gears and they pulled out. Dora sneered as she watched rehab slowly disappear behind her, a new beginning this was, a new beginning to end.

To end everything.

They drove for a long time until Dora saw the familiar buildings of her neighborhood, she smiled and looked at her nervous mother in the front seat; she shook excitedly in her booster seat. "I'm home!" she said then gripped her arm and held back a growl of _need._

She swallowed thickly and then regained her act. Her mother pulled into the driveway and turned off the car, she looked at Dora through the rearview mirror. Dora didn't understand why her mother wouldn't look at her directly and it gave Dora this odd tug in her gut, a tug that needed to be _fed_.

"Now Dora, it's been six months since you were taken away, do you think you can behave?"

"Of course, mommy!" Dora squealed and the high pitch in her voice made her mother cringe.

The two got out of the car and approached the house; it looked just as it was when _they_ took her away, those creepy perverts.

They're at the door now and walking over the threshold and the lights clicked on, there was screaming and staring and gawking mouths, then Dora took a moment too long to realize that this was a… a welcome home party… but she noticed to late, now all she saw was the shock, the fear on everyone's faces as they stared at her, at the blood on her hands, the knife in her mother's leg.

Everyone screamed; a shrill, deafening shriek. Her mother collapsed to the ground and everyone ran. Dora smiled, the tug in her gut got stronger, it was fed… but the hunger has grown larger now, she wanted more… _more blood._

Dora pulled the knife out of her mother's leg and she cried out in pain, tears streamed down her cheeks and she begged as Dora examined the blood that glistened in the artificial light. She looked at it closer then suddenly plunged it into her mother's breast bone.

Blood sprayed from the woman's mouth and onto Dora's face and clothes. Dora giggled—cackled actually, as she stabbed her mother over and over and over again. The hunger was fed but it just kept growing, how she wanted more, this was better than any drug, the blood was addicting. When the body stopped twitching Dora ceased her grisly work.

When she remembered everyone else she stopped and slowly stood, knife in hand, crazed look in her glazed eyes, she turned and her lips curled up in a thin smile. "Boots~ you want to play~?" she cooed but the monkey did not appear, "hide 'n go seek then? Okay… _I'm it!"_ she snarled and strode through the house, checking through room after room.

The monkey hid under her parents' bed, quivering madly, trying to force his shaky, heavy breath to remain quiet and subtle, oh, how he failed. He didn't see the knife until the entire blade was buried in his left eye.

The monkey screamed viscerally and Dora grabbed the monkey's leg and pulled the flailing and shrieking boy out from under the bed. She yanked the knife out at an angle, tearing flesh and the left side of his face open. The monkey continued to scream.

Dora pinned the wriggling boy down and whispered in his ear, _"now you're it,"_ before driving the knife under his chin and dragging it down his neck and chest to leave it buried in his abdomen. She removed herself from the limp creature and her murderous grin grew larger as she gripped the spot in her stomach where the tug went on endlessly.

She turned away from the scene and out into the hallway where she saw someone run in the other direction. She followed the person outside to the backyard. It was daddy.

He held a rake in his hands and sweated nervously, Dora sniffed the air, smelling his sweet fear. "Now, baby, there's no need for this, please, stop, Dora, sweetheart—"

"Quiet daddy, we're playing the quiet game now, _now be silenced!"_ Dora jumped forward and her father staggered back in surprise hitting a button on the wood chipper that activated the loud machine. The man back away from the machine and Dora snatched the rake away from him and smacked him in the back, sending him headfirst into the mouth of the wood chipper.

A shrill scream sounded as his head was ground into millions of pieces. Dora stood in the shower of blood, dancing under the crimson rain, giggling.

Once the rain of beautiful crimson ceased she huffed and looked around, spying Diego peering around the corner of the house, he ducked away when he saw she was watching him. Dora yanked an axe out of a log and weighed it in her hand before she gripped it hard enough for her knuckles to turn white and stomped towards Diego's hiding place.

She leaped around the corner, seeing him dashing away and shouted, "go, Diego, go!" and sprinted after him. She chased him to the other side of the house, teasingly close. He stumbled and tripped, trying to get away as fast as he could and then he turned another corner to the front of the house.

Diego stumbled up the steps and onto the porch when he turned around, backing up as she closed in, Dora raised the axe up and started singing in a haunting manner, "I'm the axe, I'm the axe, I'm the axe, I'm the axe, I'm the axe, I'm the axe, _I'm the axe!"_ she snarled and Diego had tripped over her mother's corpse and was staring up at Dora in beautiful fear.

She brought the axe down on his leg snapping the bone downwards, tangling it the muscle, his scream was like music to Dora's ears. She lifted axe again and brought it down on his hip and twisting it, taking a chunk of flesh off, only connected to the body by the thin fibers muscle. It was like a pretty painting.

She brought the axe down again on his spleen, snapping his ribs like so many little twigs, tearing open his chest cavity and separating veins, the spray was like a water fountain, staining the area around him red.

Blood spewed out his mouth and mixed with his screams, causing a melody of gargling and shrieks. She saw the wonderful look in his eye and brought the axe down for the last time, right into his collar bone. He gargled for a long time until his eyes rolled back and his head fell sideway, he now lay limp.

Dora left the axe in her cousin and walked over him and her mother's corpse and into the house, snatching a pair of scissors on her way to her bedroom where two panicky friends hung on the door hook, Backpack and Map.

They saw her and simultaneously screamed, trying to squirm away but their lack of appendages kept them as sitting ducks. She pulled Map from Backpack's pocket, tearing the paper and he screamed a little louder and longer.

She opened Map and took the scissors to him, he screamed endlessly like many and when she held him to see the snowflake she made, she frowned; displeased with her work. She took a lighter out of her pocket and lit the screaming piece of paper ablaze. She let the little black fibers flitter down to the ground where they left black smudges.

She turned to Backpack and drove the scissors into his eyes then took him off the hook and onto her back, "let's go Backpack!" she squealed and trotted out of the house, "to the forest!"

Backpack's shrill screams had turned into whimpers once they got to the forest. Dora reached into the pained Backpack and pulled out a chainsaw, yanking the cord and it roared to life, singing its deadly promise of bloodshed.

"Benny!" she sang as she trotted to his barn where the bull frantically tried to open the doors, but Dora was faster than he thought and she sawed his leg off and he collapsed in tears and his own urine. "Dora, p-p-pl-lease!" he begged and she smiled happily, sawing into his belly, his guts were shredded out of his stomach and then she skinned the leather hide off of him, throwing it onto her back, under Backpack.

Down the path was Tico's house which he failed to be at, but his car was there. Dora jumped into the yellow vehicle and zoomed around the edge of the forest, setting the edge ablaze with the flamethrower she had pulled from Backpack.

She then slipped a gas mask onto her face and pulled many canisters from Backpack, throwing him just beyond the edge of the flames and releasing the cans of mustard gas into the woods where it would turn everyone's lungs into giant blisters and they'll drown in their own fluids, and if that doesn't work quick enough, they'll burn.

Dora drove over the rubble path and towards the bridge, suddenly there was a bump in the road, "oh my, was that a squirrel?' she asked, laughing at Tico, who just suffered being flattened.

Approaching the bridge, Swiper jumped out, trying to escape. It seemed almost _sinfully_ easy to give him a little nudge of the cliff. All that was left of him was a muffled splash and bloodied water as piranha and crocodile and snake infested waters did their job.

Unfortunately Swiper took the car with him. Oh well, Dora shrugged, she didn't really need it anymore anyway. She shivered with repressed glee as she lined the bridge with dynamite. All it would take was one. Standing on the other side Dora pulled out her last stick of dynamite and lit it carefully before cocking her arm back and tossing it onto the middle of the bridge expertly. Her sadistic grin widened unnaturally as the lovely flames blossomed like exotic flowers.

And Dora stood there laughing with childish delight, highly inappropriate with the blood and skin adorning her young body…

Chaoji sat up screaming.

He glanced around his room, it was dark and everything was as it was when he fell asleep, but he still leaned over and let his head fall into his hands, sobbing desperately, "She's back! She's back!" the horror that overwhelmed him… the fear in his heart… the haunting in his mind…

**HirokoHana: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! OH, MY GOD THAT IS FUNNY! Poor Chaoji… NOT!**

**PandaFlower: we are so wrong!**

**HirokoHana: but so right!**

**PandaFlower: I love you Hiroko!**

**HirokoHana: I love you Pandy!**

**PandaFlower: read and review if your brain hasn't melted into goo!**


	3. The Dora Files

**HirokoHana: We have realized a flaw in ourselves…**

**PandaFlower: We haven't added more to the Dora destruction! Ahahaha!**

**Both: We welcome you to the Dora Files!**

**HirokoHana: Tis disclaimed.**

* * *

The Dora Files

After the homicidal acts of this young toddler she was captured by animal control and tied down. After long interrogation the police could only conclude that she was insane. And since she wasn't a legal adult yet she couldn't be put to the electric chair.

Because of this, her death sentence shall be delayed until her eighteenth birthday. In the meantime, she remains in Sesame Asylum.

* * *

Dora skipped along the hallways of the asylum in her white jacket, whistling to no tune in particular. Her _need_ was starting to make itself known once more. "Dora sweetheart, it's time for your medication!" said a creepy looking nurse with an elephant syringe, she limped forward; her horrid hump had destroyed her posture long ago.

Dora kept walking, giving the nurse no mind. The nurse did not like being ignored. "Dora, dear!" the nurse cooed creepily, "come, come now! Medication!" she squeezed the syringe for a moment and a stream of clear liquid shot across the hallway. Dora was transfixed by the fluid, it would be so much prettier if it were red…

Dora then turned to sneer at the nurse and the sleeves of her straight jacket fell to her side. The nurse stared in horror, seeing the girl had somehow untied the sleeves.

"N-now Dora, what do you think you're doing?" the nurse asked and Dora giggled and stretched her arms out. The Nurse armed her giant syringe; a look of determination crossed her wizened face. "Be a good girl now, we're going to tie your sleeves up again—agh!"

The nurse charged with the syringe. Dora simply stepped aside while the nurse skidded out of control. She regained her balance and charged again. Dora stepped aside again and with a swift movement had taken the syringe from the nurse.

The nurse still ran like she had the syringe until she looked down and saw it was gone. All the time needed for Dora to stab her hump which had exploded in a mess of gore. Nurse Igor fell to the ground, screaming in pain and Dora yank the syringe from her body.

"Get up! Get up!" Dora giggled "levantarse! Levantarse!" Dora said it in Spanish now as she nudged the nurse's popped hump, trying to get the crying nurse to rise. Dora—realizing she wasn't going to move—knelt down and whispered.

"Voy a matarte," the nurse looked up in fear as she translated this from Spanish to English. "I'm going to kill you."

Dora plunged the syringe in the nurse's temple, the long needle piercing to the other side, the nurse gargled and screeched as she lived for a few seconds longer, then she went limp with death.

Dora spun on her heels; her absurdly long sleeves drifting in the air. She started skipping down the hall once more; crashing down the door to the staff office where many doctors and nurses jumped up in shock. So much to feed on.

"Get her!" a doctor cried and then lunged for her, she grabbed a long shard of glass and stabbed it into the doctor's throat and he collapsed to the ground, writhing until dead. She turned on the closest nurse and grabbed a coffee mug of the table, bludgeoning her face in with it until the cup shattered into her eyes.

A male nurse grabbed Dora from behind and she snarled and bit down on his wrist, biting until she felt blood seeping into her mouth. The nurse cried out and pushed her off and then she lunged at him biting at his nose, neck, and generally his face.

The male nurse screeched as Dora tore from his neck with a sound that was surprisingly like Velcro… his jugular went with her and male nurse writhed as he bled out slowly.

Dora rose and smiled, blood pouring from her lips and she wandered back out into the hallway to be greeted by the two brothers of Blue's Clues. They were arguing—Dora realized.

"I was a much better host then you were!" Steve claimed "you were never a host! Are you still hallucinating about that?" Joe asked "silence!"

Joe sighed and patted his brother's shoulder, "it's okay Steve, c'mon, Tickety Tock says it's time for medication—"

"Oh, my god! It's a blood covered little girl!" Steve screeched and Joe Facepalmed, "this isn't a good time for your crazy hallucination—!"

"Buddy System!" Steve cried and shoved the oblivious Joe towards the bloodthirsty Dora and Steve ran for his little delusional life. Joe then saw Dora as he stumbled toward her and his eyes widened with shock.

Joe skidded to a halt and backtracked and started to run. Dora grabbed the gurney next to her and started to wheel it towards Joe, cackling like the underage maniac she was. She caught up to him in no time and Joe saw there was a dead end in the hall. He pounded on the wall then turned around, staring in fear as Dora collided with his stomach.

The gurney pressed on his gut, pushing his organs into his chest cavity, crushing them and giving his lungs no space, they collapsed, his liver squished, his spleen ruptured, and his heart failed. Joe collapsed face first onto the gurney, blood flowing past his slack lips. Dora giggled.

Dora turned away, still hearing the pitter patter of Steve's swift escape, she decided to let him live, she knew his delusions, and she agreed; he was a way cooler host then _Joe._

Dora then dashed down the hall and into a room where a tawny bear in a red shirt sat there mumbling to himself. His big eyes turned on Dora and he murmured, "dreams, dreams, dreams, you haunt dreams, alone you walk, down The Road, Road, Road, Road—!"

Pooh Bear wheezed and coughed as Dora pinned him down, clutching his throat. "Road… dreams… death… haunting…" the bear stopped breathing and went limp in Dora's grip. Satisfied with the inner hunger having been appeased, she sought out her next victim.

This time she took the elevator. When the doors pinged open, the halls were eerily quiet, she noticed, seems like they got wind of her rampage, not that hiding would save them. Not when she was consumed by the bloodthirsty beast housed within her.

She stopped at a door halfway down the hall, odd sounds floated from behind. Silently, she twisted the knob and peered through the crack, her eyes widened at the scene. A hulking purple dinosaur was poised over a red furred… thing writhing beneath it. The red furred thing was sobbing and struggling uselessly against the laughing dinosaur as violated it mercilessly.

Dora slammed the door open causing Barney to look up from raping Elmo. The door had a metal locking bar like an old fashioned gate, Dora wrenched it off with inhuman strength and shoved it through Barney's back pierced Elmo's stomach and into the floor below. As Barney shuddered in death throes Elmo whimpered piteously.

Dora felt the hunger feel pleased but her stomach churned with disgust and she left.

After leaving the room Dora leaned over and heaved out her stomach acids. She regained her composure and felt a tug in her stomach as the need for blood strengthened again. She began to run, run towards him and he ran away.

She ran into an office and smashed the glass of an emergency box and snatched the crowbar from inside. He kept running but she quickly caught up, swinging wildly. "No!" he cried and tears dramatically streamed down his cheeks.

"Ejecutar! Ejecutar!" Dora shouted "run" in Spanish, teasing the poor man by staying just behind him. "Get away from me!" he cried and Dora lunged at him.

* * *

Chaoji woke. He panted heavily, sweat drenched his body, and tears covered his face. He dropped his head in his hands and cried. He was so close to death in his dream, he just barely felt it, but he knew... he knew she was still out there to get him… whoever she was.

* * *

**HirokoHana: SHOCK AND AWE, BABY! SHOCK AND AWE!**

**PandaFlower: Was that truly necessary? Now I have images of gratuitous puppet sex playing across my tortured brain.**

**HirokoHana: …whatever… let's explain the Buddy system!**

**PandaFlower: Yay! I love the Buddy System, it saved my neck. So you all know about the don't-swim-without-a-buddy-system, right? Well, in this case when you're in trouble you push your "buddy" towards the problem and run like hell. Like when you confront zombies.**

**HirokoHana: Buddies are delicious…**

**PandaFlower: You should know, you ate five of mine!**

**HirokoHana: *smiles* Review if you hadn't had a seizure already!**


	4. The Dora Notes

**PandaFlower: Hello beloved reader, welcome to the third and final segment of Dora.**

**HirokoHana: We call it the Dora Notes.**

**PandaFlower: Also we're putting in a special something courtesy of our friend Chocolate Pockey-chan. So here's to you!**

**HirokoHana: We do not own DGM.**

**PandaFlower: Neither of us can draw. We'd hire Mi-pon to do that.**

The Dora Notes.

Dora grinned perversely, the creepy lip-curl so out of place on her babyish features. She was observing her next victim, a rather fat, spiky haired Chinese man. He didn't know she was there, he just continued to wander around fearfully in the dark dream world. Glancing around, jumping at every sound, walking in aimless circles with the delicious scent of _terror_ permeating the air.

Such easy prey, he wouldn't know what hit him.

He screamed when Dora stepped out in front of him, still grinning in delicious anticipation of the coming blood bath. He tried to run but it would all be in vain. This was her realm.

He screamed again when the dark world shifted to its mistress's desires.

The walls shrank, the air become heavy and oppressive and then there was the sound of faint, furious buzzing. Like a thousand-no, a million angry stinging insects had pressed themselves against the walls. Leaving him trapped in the room with _her_.

When the first blade dropped he didn't manage to dodge in time.

From the ceiling, the sound of buzzing increased. Something glinted up there for the briefest of seconds before it dropped in a smooth arc. It clipped the chubby man's shoulder, biting into flesh and bone with its jagged, dancing blades, tearing out bits of muscle and a spray of misty blood before returning to the ceiling. Dora savored every octave of his pain with a delighted shiver, her head tossed back and her eyes rolling in their sockets.

Again and again the pendulums swung, coming from the ceiling, the walls, even the floor. He never quite managed to dodge completely, getting clipped by the buzzing blades again and again, losing chunks of flesh, sometimes fingers and toes, in a spray of crimson splattered everywhere in interesting oblong ovals.

Through it all Dora watched, increasingly becoming aware that, while enjoyable, this simply wasn't enough. He had to suffer more! Sure his arm almost got hacked off and you could clearly see the bone, yes, his right ear dangled by a strip of twisted flesh but it wasn't enough!

The chubby Asian man lay there, writhing in agony as Dora stood over him, he cried out as she twisted her fingers into his gaping wounds, sliding the digits along his slick insides.

Dora giggled to herself, lapping at the blood on her hands. She knew just what to do.

Into her empty hands conjured a jar.

With deliberate slowness she pulled of the stopper.

Careful not to get to slopping, liquid contents on herself, she positioned the mouth of the jar at the biggest of the man's wounds and dumped the contents into his heaving chest cavity.

He screamed as the acid did its job, crying and begging fruitlessly as it ate away at his body, stinging and burning and consuming, soaking deeper into his ruined muscles. Dora watched in fascination as a combination of acid, melted organs and soft tissue trickled out of the bloody tears in his torso. His begging turned to gargles as the acid crept up his throat and dissolved his vocal cords, he started convulsing as it ate away his lungs and clogged up his throat.

Dora reached down and gripped his face, watching as his eyes began to liquefy just a bit.

She made him watch as, right before his eyes, her brown hair stood up in spikes like a sudden electric shock, turning blue. As her Hispanic olive toned skin went almost sickly pale then an ashy gray and her large child-like eyes, glimmering with madness and mirth, turned a gleamed polished gold.

That was the last thing he ever saw as Road Camelot drove a spiked candle through his softened forehead.

"That was so much fun," she said happily, "now I just need to collect my payment from Leverier and I can finally buy that new dress I wanted!" she clasped her hands in utter sinful joy, disappearing as the motionless body continued to sink into a pool of corrosive acid and liquid innards.

**HirokoHana: I'm going to miss this…so much.**

**PandaFlower: Shouldn't this be rated M? I've already had one person tell me that.**

**HirokoHana: Whatever. I think it was too short.**

**PandaFlower: *whacks her in the head with a spork* It is not! **

**HirokoHana: Them's fightin' words girlie! Go spork army!**

**PandaFlower: I'll be your huckleberry! Charge Foon army! Release the wolfguin!**


	5. The Assumption Song! DGM Style! XD

**The assumption song. DGM style.**

**Warnings: Yullen, slight Lucky, implied gender bending, implied kinky intercourse.**

**There was an old Panda, who lived on a rock**

**He sat in a chair just shaking his…**

**XD**

**Fist at Tyki and Lavi who were **

**Down by the crick, their feet in the water their hands on their…**

**XD**

**Marbles and playthings and at half past four**

**There came a young Allen, she looked like a…**

**XD**

**Pretty young creature, she sat in the grass**

**She pulled up her skirt and she showed them her…**

**XD**

**Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck**

**She said she was learning a new way to…**

**XD**

**Bring up her children so they would not spit**

**While the CROW in the barnyard were shoveling…**

**XD**

**Refuse and litter from yesterdays hunt**

**While Allen in the meadow was rubbing her…**

**XD**

**Eyes at the Kanda, down by the dock**

**He looked like a fellow with a sizable…**

**XD **

**Home in the country with a big fence out front**

**If he asked her politely she'd show him her…**

**XD**

**Little Timcampy, subject to fits**

**And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her…**

**XD**

**Small tender hands with a movement so quick**

**And then she'd bend over and suck on his…**

**XD**

**Candy so tasty, made of butterscotch**

**And then he'd spread whip-cream all over her…**

**XD**

**Dango that she had left on the shelf**

**If you think this song's dirty then Chaoji can go *BEEP* himself!**


	6. A Little Bit Lucky

**PandaFlower: A small bit of Lucky just for you.**

It was a beautiful day in the forest, the sun was out, the birds were chirping and a grey fox with a curiously curly coat was feeling rather _hungry_ if you know what I mean.

He ambled about looking for some _prey_ to satisfy his peculiar _hunger_.

He soon came across a red rabbit lying on a tree stump; the rabbit appeared to be in pain as he was moaning quite loudly. It looked rather _appetizing_ to fox.

Being a gentleman he decided to ask the rabbit what was wrong.

"Hello," he said, "I'm Tyki, what's your name?"

The rabbit opened his one good eye; the other was hidden by an eye-patch, "Lavi~" the rabbit groaned.

Tyki sweat-dropped, "Hey, you okay?

The rabbit glared at him weakly, "No, I'm lonely!"

"That's it?" Tyki asked incredulously.

"Yes, that's it!" Lavi cried, "Rabbits can die of loneliness you know!"

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"Really,"

"Yes,"

"_Really_…"

"Yes, really! How many times do I have to-Hey! What are you doing?"

Tyki picked the ailing rabbit up and carried him off to his den, "Why, I'm going to cure you what else?"

Lavi blushed furiously, "B-but we can't! we're not even the same species!"

Tyki snorted, "Do you think that stops it stops that dog from raping that white cat all the time?"

Somewhere in the forest Kanda paused in the middle of 'raping' Allen and vowed to kill foxes from now on.

Tyki spent the rest of the day 'nursing' his poor rabbit back to health.

**PandaFlower: I couldn't stop myself, sorry if it's no good.**


	7. Spiders in the Corner

**PandaFlower: Wheee~! I'm baaack to terrorize FFnet with my ghastly creations! On to the chibi-fication!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, never will. Get off my back.**

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* * *

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Spiders in the Corner

Through the dim, sleep fog of one knocked unconscious Yu could make out faint voices talking over his head.

"D'you think he'll kill Komui for sure this time?" huh, that voice sounded worried, should he be as well?

"I'm more worried about him going on a rampage to be honest. If Kanda gets angry enough he really doesn't care whose blood gets splash everywhere." That sounded like a girl. That's odd, there weren't very many girls in the Asia Branch Research Facility, did someone wake up? In that case he could finally foist Alma on someone else for a change.

"Stand back! He's waking up!" Yu groaned and turned over on his side, he propped an elbow underneath him and sat up. Yu flinched when the light struck his eyes; it was a bit brighter than he was used to. He seemed to be laying on a plushy blue…thing surrounded by wierdos. A nice looking girl with black hair and purple eyes, a pirate with red hair and a young man with old man hair and a weird twisty scar on his face.

They all wore a curious black uniform with rose cross insignia.

Yu gasped softly, eyes widening as he reached out to touch the nearest one, which belonged to the pirate, "You're an exorcist."

The pirate looked confused, "Um, yeah. Are you okay there Kanda? Did you hit your head?"

Yu's face twisted in annoyance, "What the hell are you talking about? My name's not Kanda it's Yu," he drew back from the pirate. Clearly he was stupid, didn't Alma once say that stupidity was contagious?

The Exorcists stared at Yu long enough to be awkward.

"Lenalee, go kill your brother," the old-man-haired boy finally said, "and then make him fix this."

The girl-Lenalee apparently, sighed, "On it." Then she was gone in a flash of wind.

"So are you two weirdos?" Yu demanded, swining his legs around to sit properly on the blue plushy thing. The two boys twitched at the weirdo comment but the pirate cracked a grin, Yu was immediately wary. It looked too much like the grins Alma would crack when he was getting ready to tease him. Yu did not do teasing.

"I am Lavi Bookman Jr. the most awesome person you will ever have the honor of meeting in this lifetime—OW!" Yu kicked him in the knee from his position on the plushy thing; he could already tell he wouldn't like this person.

The old-man-haired boy stifled a chuckle behind his hand, "Haha, and I'm Allen Walker. Pleased to meet you, Yu," for a moment Yu almost smiled back, this person was as nice as Edgar. Yu had always liked Edgar in his own way, even if he didn't much care for Epstein and the others.

Wait…where were Edgar and the others? He hadn't synchronized with his Innocence yet; he wasn't supposed to leave the lab!

Yu pushed past the pirate and Allen and glanced frantically around the office, he made a beeline for the door but Allen caught him, "Hey, where are you going, Yu?"

"Let me go you xxxxx! I gotta go back to Alma and the others! I'm not allowed to leave to leave the lab! Ugh, I'm gonna kill you!" Yu was almost shocked when Allen let him go. Usually when he got the kicking and screaming phase people brought out restraints.

"Yep, that's Yu-chan alright," Lavi whistled, "Damn, he looks so adorable and he still has a foul mouth."

Whatever that meant Yu wasn't stopping to find out.

* * *

As he pelted down the unfamiliar hallways it occurred to him that he probably should have asked where he was. Suddenly he became aware of eyes boring into his back; he turned to confront it and was met with the most vicious sight in the world. Even worse than Twi's blackest rage.

Spindly limbs covered in coarse black hair splayed in all directions like some kind of grotesque claw from the broken dreams of traumatized children. Multiple dead, soulless doll eyes drilling into his unblinkingly. Overlarge, dripping fangs working in delicious anticipation for their next meal. It made no sound as the thing inched closer in preparation of the fatal, poisonous pounce.

Yu screamed at the top of his lungs like a little girl.

Instantly Allen and Lavi appeared around the corner, huffing and puffing from trying to keep up with him. Stupid old men.

The creature inched closer and closer, trailing delicate threads of stickiness. The perfect trap for the perfect prey; set by the perfect hunter.

The thing died with a splat under Lavi's boot while Allen pulled him into his arms.

Yu buried his face in Allen's bony shoulder, quivering and close to tears. Allen rubbed his back awkwardly, "Er, Yu…? It's just a spider, there's nothing to be afraid of," Yu shook his head vehemently, "Nuh uh, it's a monster and it was gonna eat me. I could see it in its beady little eyes!"

Allen shot Lavi a helpless look, Lavi shrugged.

"So, Yu-chan, we're going to go meet our superior, Supervisor Komui." Lavi said, patting Yu's back, "you'll like him, he's a bit eccentric though."

Yu tightened his grip around Allen's neck, "Where am I?" he mumbled.

"You're at Black Order Headquarters," Allen told him, "The Black Order is—"

"I know what the Black order is."

"What happened to Supervisor Raphael?"

"Huh?" Allen turned into another corridor, following Lavi through the gray, depressing passages.

"Sarinz told me the Supervisor's name was Raphael. Did something happen to him?"

"Yu, there is a lot we need to tell you."

Yu pulled back to look Allen in the eye, "What are you talking about geezer-head?"

"Geezer-head—!"

"We're here~!" Lavi exclaimed, throwing open the Infirmary door where Komui and most of the Science Department lay wrapped in bandages, "Komui! We got a problem! what potion did you use on Kanda?"

Yu swiftly jumped from Allen's arms, embarrassed to be seen carried about like a weakling. He opted to salvage his pride by kicking Lavi as hard as he could, "MY NAMES NOT KANDA IT'S YU, YOU IDIOT!"

"Ow! Don't go hating on me lil' Yu!"

"Shut the hell up you xxxxx!"

"Yu stop kicking Lavi!" Nice or not, Allen was so getting kicked for that.

* * *

"So." Komui said from his sick bed, "What do you remember?"

After Allen and Lavi were sentenced to a day of bed rest, (For a nine year old, Yu kicks really hard.) Yu finally calmed down and sat stiffly at the end of Komui's bed.

Yu sighed for the millionth time that day, "The last thing I remember is Alma dragging me to the room with the sleeping Apostles but I didn't want to go 'cause it was cold but Alma kept dragging me, so I threw him into the wall and he didn't like that, so he punched me and we started to fight and the scientists broke us up, and then we had to do synchro tests and they were painful and my leg fell off, so I took a nap while my body stabilized. Then I woke up on that blue plushy thing."

"It's a sofa, it's like a chair."

"Whatever old man."

"Well, I know what the problem is now," Komui adjusted his glasses, "Kid, I don't know how much of this you're going to believe but you're actually eighteen. You got hit by a de-aging potion that affected your memories. You're an Exorcist named Kanda Yu, your Innocence is a Katana you call Mugen and you have every Finder in existence terrified of you."

Yu blinked, "You mean…I synchro'd?"

"Yes."

Yu grabbed the front of Komui's shirt, "R-really? I synchro'd? I actually got out of that dark place?"

"Yes."

Yu's dark eyes lit with happiness, oh he felt like he could fly!

"You're going to need a care-taker until that potion wears off though."

Crushed like a butterfly. Utterly and with contempt.

"Wha?" Yu leapt of the bed in shock, "I don't need some babysitter, I can't take care of myself!

"I'm sure you can, Yu, but Komui here has a tendency to unleash giant robots. You need to stick to a veteran when that happens," Allen chirped from the bed next to him. Yu crawled onto Allen's lap and pout/glared at him, cutely I might add.

Try as he might, Yu's gaze kept getting drawn to Allen's geezer hair. It wasn't gray though, it was silver, like his eyes. How did someone so young get old hair? Was it really as soft as it looked? Being a child Yu immediately gave in to the compulsion to wind his fingers in Allen's hair, and it was soft. Yu liked soft things, Alma once told him that meant he was a sensualist but he didn't know what that meant so he didn't care. He just liked soft things.

"Um, Yu what are you doing?" Yu was getting a little too close to face for comfort in Allen's opinion, it didn't seem like Yu was listening to him, he was too busy carding his fingers through Allen's silver locks.

"You're hair's really soft. I like soft things." Yu said bluntly.

Allen couldn't stop the blush that stained his cheeks.

"You know Geezer-hair you're really girly looking, are you sure you're a guy?" Yu asked equally bluntly. Allen went completely red and accidently knocked Yu to the ground with his mortified flailing. In retaliation Yu pushed his bed over.

Allen sat up rubbing his head and glaring at the smug little brat, "Geez, you didn't need to do that, it was just an accident. You're weirdly strong for a little kid, that was an iron bed," that last was muttered to himself but Yu had sharp ears.

"That's because I'm not human stupid," Yu said as if it was obvious, "They told me I was an artificial being, someone that wasn't real. I came from a watery hole in the ground, not a mothers stomach like other humans, that's why. Edgar was going to tell me once where human babies came from but Alma had to be a creepy stalker and interrupted him. Where do human babies come from, Allen?"

Was it just Allen or was the whole room suppressing snickers? Even Komui had slapped a hand over his to stifle the horrible giggles.

"U-um," Allen choked, "Are you sure you want to know?" then an epiphany struck Allen and he grinned evilly, large horns popping out of his head. In the back of the room Lavi cowered under his sheets in fear of the terror that is Dark Allen.

"I tell you, but just not here," Allen said sweetly, (?) "let's go outside, I know a nice clearing and—"

"Outside?" Yu asked, his eyes shining with disbelief and giddy hope, "We're allowed to go outside?"

"Well of course, why?" Allen asked, leading him to the door.

Yu looked up at him innocently, "It's just I've never seen the sky before," for a second Allen almost felt guilty over what he was about to put Yu through. Almost.

* * *

Yu couldn't stop staring in awe as Allen lead him through the woods surrounding the Black Order. Everything was so new, the light, the trees, the smell that tickled his nose and the sky-oh, the sky! Yu had never seen such a beautiful blue in all his life.

True to his word Allen lead him by the hand into a grassy clearing and plopped down in the middle, then Allen grabbed him and held him securely in his lap, "Alright, this is going to be pretty mind you, and you're not going to like what you hear so don't struggle so much."

Gradually, with much detail, Allen filled him in on the science and pleasure of making children. Many times Yu cried and screamed and begged him to stop, he struggled to break from Allen's grasp but Allen held him firmly, arms glued to his side so he couldn't cover his ears. On and on those awful words tumbled from Allen's lips, oh god, humans were just downright disgusting! How could they do stuff like this?

Finally when Yu felt like he would vomit his guts out did Allen let him go.

"Yu, you okay?" Allen asked softly.

Yu shivered, "Um, yeah, I just need to vomit a few times,"

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad! When you get to be my age and your hormones kick in you'll think differently!" Allen pulled him back into his lap despite Yu's struggles.

"But it sounds disgusting!" Yu cried.

"But that's what human's do," Allen said.

"Then humans are disgusting!"

"I'm human. Do you think I'm disgusting?" Allen asked softly.

Yu looked at him oddly, "N-no, you're kinda pretty."

"Yu!" Allen shrieked.

"What! It's true! You're pretty!"

"You have no idea what you're saying!"

"Yes, I do!" Yu pout/glared, "And I'll prove it!"

"Uh, Yu?" Allen asked fearfully.

"Alma said that when you think someone's pretty and you like them then you have to do this," Yu leaned up and sealed his lips against Allen's. Allen was shocked still as Yu kissed him. It was actually kind of…sweet how naïve Yu was.

Yu pulled back as soon as his mouth touched Allen's but it seemed much longer than that. Yu met his gaze confusedly, as if unsure what to do now. Allen smiled at him awkwardly and tousled his hair, "I'm afraid you're a little young for activities like that, but I'm glad you like me."

Yu blushed, "S-shut up."

* * *

**PandaFlower: Tadaa~!**

**HirokoHana: What the heck is this crap? The readers haven't heard anything from us in almost a month and this is the best you can do? You worthless little-!**

**PandaFlower: Anyway~ I have an idea that i want a few opinions on. See I, like many readers, am plagued by ruthless plotbunnies wielding clubs. Half of my ideas never hit paper and the other half never get completely thought through and this makes me sad. So I want to start an Adoption Center for plotbunnies so that at least some people will be interested in them. So...Yea or Nay?**

**HirokoHana: Just review before this gets any longer.  
**


	8. Exchanging Popcorn

**PandaFlower: Hey everybody, this story is done by my good buddy Kamo-chan74! A round of applause please!**

**HirokoHana: *Claps loudly* I don't hear anything.**

***Frantic clapping in the background***

**Hirokohana: Much better!**

"Hey Lavi, guess what day today is?" Allen said excitedly, skipping up and down in front of the couch were his lover sat, drying his wet hair from the shower. Lavi grinned, acting like he couldn't remember. "Hmm, let me think...its Friday, the 12th? The weekend where the Florida Tigers fight against the Sun Rider Morning Devils in the final football cup?"

"Lavi! Come on, you know what I mean!" the white haired said, pouting, looking incredibly cute. "Okay, okay, I haven't forgotten," the red head laughed and pulled Allen down for a kiss who blushed a pretty shade of red. "Today is our date; we are going to the cinema, as you promised!"

"Yes, I know. Just let me make myself ready and we'll go, 'kay, Allen babe?" They put on the clothes they picked, Lavi had tight blue jeans with a green shirt, the first few buttons open to show off his chest, his red hair for once not in a bandana but in a short pony tail. Allen wore a long sleeved black and blue patterned shirt that had rips on its right sleeve, gray loose jeans and a white glove on his left hand to hide the strange black skin.

After they were ready and put on jackets and shoes, Lavi drove them to the cinema, all the way teasing his boyfriend or stealing kisses from him, ignoring Allen's embarrassed protests to kindly watch the road, not that he rode against some old women again, like last time. Although Lavi had managed to stop, his car had been enough to push the old women into the next pond. It had been in a park where the red head had missed the parking area, which had caused him to get chased around by the furious old lady until he fell into the pond as well and got bit in his ass by a duck.

Finally they were at the cinema, were Allen impatiently pulled the laughing Lavi into the big building. "What film are we going to watch?" the silver eyed asked happily, looking at the displays and the posters hanging on the walls of the hall. "Hmm...how about _'An ordinary neighbor_?'"Lavi said cheerfully, adjusting his eye patch. Allen's smile dropped, he didn't look as happy as before anymore, "But...Lavi, I hate horror films! I always get afraid while watching them!"

"Aah, come on sweet heart, it isn't that bad! And don't worry, you can hold my hand if you're frightened," his green eye twinkled as he pulled the hesitating white haired to the ticket booth, where he paid for two tickets. "Say...why did you paid for tickets in the last row?" the white haired asked, confused, staring at the colored paper he was holding. "They're the worst seats! You should have taken better seats in the middle or the front!"

"But Allen-chan, the last row is the best! Maybe we can't see as good as in the middle or front, but we can do...other things," Lavi whispered into his smaller boyfriend's ear, Allen immediately turned red and screeched; "Lavi, you are totally a pervert! We are only here to watch a film!"

"Hey, the last row isn't called 'Kissing corner' without a reason!" Lavi said, grinning at Allen's beet red face. Although they were a couple for two months now, there hadn't been more then kisses and hands under clothes, because the white haired was a bit shy and unsure, he wanted to go slow, Lavi was very understanding, though it was difficult for him to hold back with such a cute boyfriend, he knew Allen was still a virgin. Still huffing Allen walked next to Lavi, holding hands, when he suddenly noticed something which made his heart skip a beat in joy. He felt his mouth start to water, eyes locked on the object of his desire, that smell...absolutely irresistible.

With a loud scream he raced towards it, and before Lavi knew what was happening he was dragged behind by a squealing Allen, mercilessly being pulled over the floor. "What the-ouch! would you pl-ouch! Allen babe, let me- ouch!" he cried, unwillingly making acquaintance with the floor, which wasn't as clean as it looked from standing on it.

But Allen didn't hear him; he was already jumping up and down in front of what has taken his attention: a snack bar shop, "Geez, I should have known," Lavi groaned, rubbing his aching backside and cleaned his face with a handkerchief. "Lavi, please! Please, I want some popcorn!" his boyfriend begged, pulling at the red heads right arm. "Sweetie, if I think about how much you can eat in a short time, I'd rather not buy anything, if you still want to go into the city with me after watching the film."

"B-but Laviiii, I want popcorn! I want! Otherwise this isn't a real cinema visit for me!" Allen begged, pulling at Lavi's clothes like his life depended on it. "But Allen-chan-", the red head wanted to reply, but when the white haired simply looked at him with those huge silver eyes, looking like a little puppy or kitten, absolutely ravishing, his resistance scattered like broken glass. Damn it, Allen knew his weak points too well! "Okay, okay, I'll buy you a portion", he sighed, devotional and walked to the snack bar. "One portion- or one big portion popcorn please", he said smiling and friendly. "Which flavor do you want?" the shop girl asked, which made Lavi look at Allen who answered immediately—

"Sweet!"

"Salty!"

"Huh?"

Lavi and Allen turned around in surprise, looking to see who had said "Salty" at the same moment. "Oh, look who's here! Hey Yuu-chan, hey Tyki!" the red head greeted them cheerfully. Right next to them in front of the second line, were Kanda and Tyki, two other school friends. Kanda was a Japanese boy, eighteen years old, being number one of the school's most popular boys, with a beautiful face, a hot body, long black hair in a pony tail and blue eyes, who hated being called by his first name. He immediately hissed, "Don't call me by my first name, baka usagi!" threatening Lavi with his sword who sweat dropped. "Calm down, beauty," his boyfriend said amused, letting his hand glide over Kanda's shoulder until it rested on his hip. Tyki was as good looking as Kanda, also eighteen years old, a seductive body, dark skin, short black curly hair, a playfully dark smirk and golden eyes, that were examining Lavi and Allen in surprise.

"And what are you two love birds doing here?"Tyki asked. "Oh, we're here to watch a film," Lavi replied happily and slung his arm around Allen's shoulder who blushed. "And what film are you going to watch?" Tyki asked curiously while he played with a strand of Kanda's hair, who simply stared into space, acting like he wasn't interested. "We are going to watch _'An ordinary neighbor'..._" Allen replied slightly sulking, poking Lavi's ribs who only grinned and kissed his ear."Ah, the same as us, what a coincidence," Tyki grinned, but was interrupted, "What, you're going with the Moyashi into a horror film? Better watch out, the little bean will either wet himself or run out of the cinema while screaming like a little girl," Kanda snorted, smirking at the glare the white haired threw him. "My name is Allen, not Moyashi! And who are you calling a little kid? Do you think I'll get scared?"

"Of course I do, you fucking look like a twelve year old, Moyashi!"

"Shut up, Bakanda! I bet you'll get so frightened that your girly hair will curl itself in fear!"

"What did you say, Moyashi? Watch who you call girly!" the dark haired hissed at Allen, who glared back heatedly.

"Uhm, Allen, honey, cup cake, would you pl-"

"WHAT?" the white haired snapped, surrounded by his 'dark Allen' aura, Lavi backed away in fear. Tyki and Lavi shared a half amused, half uncomprehending look, they were used to how Allen and Kanda bickered every time they met; they were like cats and dogs. "Well, whatever, my sexy beast," Tyki sighed, grabbing Kanda's hand while Lavi distracted Allen with a quick kiss, both men dragging their boyfriends into the cinema hall, with the popcorn in their hands. "Which seats do we have?" Lavi murmured, searching while he looked at their tickets. "Ah there! Right next to Tyki and Kanda!" he said, pulling Allen behind him who scowled at Kanda, the dark haired glared back, Tyki bent forwards and whispered something soothing in his ear. They talked a while before the film began, eating from their popcorn.

"_Aaaaahhh!" the women screamed in panic, pure fear mirrored in her face and eyes when she saw how the good looking neighbor transformed into a monster, slowly reaching for her with its claws, howling and bloodthirsty. In the next moment blood splattered over the white floor of the kitchen, grunting and quiet smacking could be heard. A sudden knock on the door made the monster turn its ugly head around, pieces of meat hanging between its teeth..._

With wide eyes Allen stared at the silver screen, almost hyperventilating, he had even forgotten the popcorn, his fingers gripping the cushion of his seat so hard that his knuckles were white. He hated horror films. He couldn't stand blood, monsters, organs being spilled around...he hated it all! Suddenly he heard a slight chuckle next to him, and a voice said mockingly, "Afraid of the monster, Moyashi?" His head turned around quickly to see Kanda looking at him who smirked and whispered, "I got better things to do then to watch that stupid film..."

With that, he turned around, grabbing Tyki's head to kiss him, their hands wandering over each other's body, and even in the low light Allen could see how Kanda smirked at him, tongue kissing his boyfriend. The white haired blushed; half furiously, half embarrassed, and grabbed Lavi's hand for support. The red head smiled at him and laid his head against Allen's to softly kiss him, murmuring, "Shh, it's alright Allen babe, that's just a film! Nothing bad will happen-" Right at that moment the silver screen went out, all lights, even the low light went off as well, complete and utter darkness surrounding them.

Screams and angry shouts could be heard, the people started to complain loudly, Allen took in a frightened breath, squeezing Lavi's hand hard. "What happened? Why is there no light and why has the film stopped?" one of the people complained, another one said, obviously annoyed, "I'm sure it's an electric problem…"

"Lavi, what should we do now?" Allen asked nervously, feeling very uncomfortable in the darkness, he couldn't see a thing. "Don't worry Allen-honey, I'll go looking for someone who can call a technician" Lavi said encouragingly, shortly squeezing his hand before he stood up and carefully walked through the seat rows. All the white haired could hear was his own quick breathing, he heard someone stand up as well, recognizing it was Tyki by his steps, the whispering of the people in the dark, someone was discussing the reason for the technical problem.

His fear grew until he couldn't bear it anymore, then he stood up as well, stumbling through the rows. More steps could be heard and with a light panic he decided to go back, otherwise Lavi wouldn't find him, or maybe the red head was already back at his seat. Quickly he stumbled back, nearly falling over the lower seat row, frantically searching for his seat, just where was it? He accidentally touched a few legs, hastily murmuring apologizes while walking further, blindly reaching out with his hands into the darkness and finally, finally he found his seat, he plopped down in relief, quickly reaching out with his hands, was Lavi there again? Two big hands suddenly bumped against his own and immediately grabbed his, enclosing them tight.

Allen scooted closer, scared in the dark, he needed to feel Lavi close to him and wanted to ask him if he had found someone when a finger closed his mouth, suddenly there were lips on his, covering his own. He opened his mouth in surprise, a wet tongue slipped inside, making him twitch in shock. They had only tongue kissed twice and he wasn't used to it, it felt so intimate, but then he started to relax, enjoying how the tongue explored his mouth, nudging against his own. Allen already wanted to moan, it felt so good, but then he remembered the other people in the hall and Kanda, he didn't want to let them hear him moaning and swallowed the moan quickly.

The hands which had been cupping his neck now slipped down, gliding over his shoulders until they touched his sides, and wrapped themselves around his waist, he squeaked inwardly in surprise and suddenly found himself on a warm lap, a strong body, so familiar, pushed against his own. Now the hands slipped under his shirt, causing him to shudder in pleasure, they went higher and higher and grabbed his hardening nipples, roughly pinching them, again he wanted to cry out in pure bliss, but silenced himself by pressing his arm against his mouth. Again the hands pulled at him, lips crashed against his own, taking his breath away, the hands leaving burning hot trails on his skin, he pushed against Lavi's body in feverish need, wanting more, and like a response the hands slipped lower, circling around his navel, but he needed them lower, his hard cock pressed against the others erection, so big that he had to suppress a moan.

Blood rushed through his veins, down into his pants, he was so aroused. The heat was slowly driving him crazy; he needed the red heads hands down there. Impatiently he bucked with his hips against his partner's body, hearing a loud hiss in the air. Forgotten was the fear and panic he had felt before, even the stupid film, everything that was important now were Lavi's hands that gave him incredible pleasure. He needed more, desperately rubbing himself against him, again those sinful lips attacked him, ravishing his mouth then trailing up and down his quivering neck, biting and sucking, he bit into the others ear as a response, enjoying the shudder shooting through the body under him. Like a punishment the hands roughly grabbed his ass and went between his legs, pressing hard against his most sensitive spots, he sucked in air sharply, and finally his boyfriend's hands glided down, shortly playing with the zipper of his jeans before they finally pulled it down.

In the next moment he choked on a scream, biting into his partners shoulder to suppress any sound because the red head had slipped his hands into his jeans, one cupped his ass cheeks, rubbing them slowly while the other went down to grab his hard member and started stroking it. God, it felt like heaven, wild, wonderful pleasure, drowning his virgin mind. Hell, he wouldn't even care if he lost his virginity in a cinema, in a seat where probably thousands of teenagers had been sitting, kissing and touching each other, while the electricity had broken down.

All that was important now were those sinful, skilled hands, giving him incredible, hot pleasure. Allen threw his head back in shock when he felt his boyfriend's hand around his cock going faster, circling around the dripping slit on the head. Panting he closed his eyes and buried his left hand into Lavi's hair while the other embraced his shoulder for some hold, his virgin body was filled with lust and desire. The only weird thing was the salty taste on his lips, had Lavi stolen some of the others popcorn? And his untamed hair felt smoother than usual, although he couldn't really tell since it was the gloved hand, it was almost silky- In the next moment screams and surprised voices, mixed with relieved ones could be heard when the low light shone again, the film was continuing, showing how the friend of the eaten woman ran for his life.

The low light was enough to finally see something again, Allen opened his eyes again, panting, "Lavi, I need to-" Then he stopped. And stared. And stared. Everything was fine, he was in the cinema, the electricity was working again and the monster was chasing after the dead woman's friend and he was sitting on his boyfriend's lap. Just with the little difference that the eyes that were staring at him had a brilliant sapphire hue, long black and silky bangs of hair framing the strong face, who's eyes stared with the same shock and confusion at him. Quickly he turned his head around and froze again. His mind needed some time to understand what he was seeing but when he finally got it his mouth opened in shock.

It wasn't Lavi whose hands were in his open pants, on his ass and wrapped around his erection, he was sitting in Kanda's lap. His said boyfriend was sitting in the next seat; half leaned over to the next, shirt open and pants as well, two dark skinned hands in his pants, hair messy while he had one hand shoved inside Tyki's tight pants, the other wrapped around the Portuguese's neck. For a moment the two couples just stared at each other while breathing heavily, trying to get the fact that they were making out with the others boyfriend, heat covering their senses like a thick blanket while the sexual tension still lay in the air, seething hot and alive.

Then, after a short silence, only interrupted by the screams of the man on the silver screen, Kanda grunted and looked towards Tyki, growling, "Fuck this. Let's exchange our popcorn, shall we?" With a nod they turned their attention to the still frozen Allen and Lavi, hungrily attacking their new boyfriends to continue what they had started accidentally.

**PandaFlower: Kamo really knows her stuff…**

**HirokoHana: Mmhm.**

**PandaFlower: You should read her other stuff. It's even hotter.**

**HirokoHana: You're drooling…**


End file.
